posted on October 13, 2014 16:24 by Shirley Yanez
When I was a child my parents didn't read me bedtime stories or take me to the cinema to watch magical fairy tales in film, so I grew up with only the reality of what love and marriage is like in real life, something I am now truly grateful for. Disney has a lot to answer to giving girls this magical notion that when the slipper fits the handsome Prince will sweep them off their feet or take them off the factory floor in modern days, to a state of happy ever after. We all know, as we get older and wiser these fairy tales are complete bullshit, as the fairy tale always ends at the wedding, yet women still pass on the unattainable dream to their own daughters without giving them the true ending.
There has just been some research done that shows the more money you spend on this one special day, the wedding, the less likely it is to last and I can see how this would make sense because women often want the day more than they do the man and I will explain what I mean by this because denial is a very common state when it comes to love and it’s not the river in Egypt!
When a girl meets a boy she likes and shares his bed, she will immediately become intoxicated by what I call “the love drug”. When we fall in love, for the first ninety days we experience a dopamine rush. Dopamine, “the love drug” is the chemical that makes us feel euphoria, craving, the addiction, so we cannot make rational choices and decisions in this phase as we will overlook each other’s flaws and see the other person as perfect.
At the end of the ninety days the hormones die down and we then will start to see imperfections, and ask ourselves if we really want to be with this person long-term. This is when the lying to ourselves begins.
My advice is to avoid at all costs kissing or sleeping with a man until you are sure he wants the same things as you long term because once you do the deed, you will have given up your most powerful attraction. In nature the females are in charge and do the choosing and men are most attracted to happy women who love themselves. Men will subconsciously sense a woman’s self-love and want to be a part of that love too. Studies have also shown that men love women who smile, as a smile is very inviting, so start loving yourselves ladies and trust me he will chase you to the ends of the earth to get your knickers off.
The top tip to a great relationship is to understand the following from relationship guru Pat Allen who says that a man’s purpose in a relationship is to “give, protect, and cherish” and in exchange, the woman should give her man “respect, appreciation, and FUN.”
Here are my first date tips to get you a second and prevent you from falling for the classic rituals that leave you intoxicated and crying your eyes out when he doesn't text or call. (If a quick shag is all you are looking for then of course all of this is unimportant but remember to be sure and safe.)
1. Never drink alcohol on a first date, keep alert, listen and be yourself.
2. Never lie to impress him, he will always find out in the end and if he judges you then he is not right for you.
3. Don't pay or go halves, men like to treat women and show they can provide, it makes them feel good.
4. If you like him flirt by touching your hair and keep smiling.
5. At the end of the date kiss his cheek and say you had fun but never force another date, let him chase you always.
6. If he suggests coffee at yours or his, say “Not tonight Josephine” because getting cosy on the sofa is likely to lead to getting naked in his bed.
7. Remember men look for sex and find love. Women look for love and find sex.